Bear with me because this is a long one…
I have two very precious, yet very different daughters. They are the loves of my life (along with my husband) and everything I do is in consideration of their health, happiness and well-being.
My oldest is just about the sweetest, most loving child in the entire universe. You may think I’m just biased because she’s mine and most parents say that about their kids anyway, right? Well in her case, it’s true. It’s been confirmed by countless teachers and other adults so I’m not just blowing smoke here. Her kindergarten teacher told me she’d never met a “more maternal kindergartner” in all her days of teaching. She’s encouraging and supportive of everyone around her, wants to make everyone feel included, and takes great joy in making everyone laugh. She. is. an. angel!
Then, there’s the baby. My sweet, tiny little baby who has turned 4 years old before my very eyes. She’s so completely different from her sister. She’s stubborn and hard-headed. If she doesn’t want to do something, she will not do it. End of story. No other options. You want her to sing the alphabet song but she doesn’t want to – who do you think wins? She was in time-out before she was even a year old. I kid you not – I would put 45 seconds on the microwave to time her. And she would just smile at us. My husband says she’s all me, my personality, my stubbornness…my Mini-Me. I jokingly refuse to accept it but I know it’s true. I see a lot of my traits in her.
When your young and dream of your future children, you pray that they get the best parts of you and thankfully, they each get something wonderful that you have given them through your DNA. But they also have an equal chance of getting something from you that you’re not so fond of…in Mini-Me’s case, she seems to have gotten my shyness attribute. Today, she started crying so hard in her preschool end-of-year program that the teacher finally took her off the stage and brought her to me in the audience. And now we are faced with her dance recital this weekend.
I have always been very strict in my children sticking with their commitments, but for the first time, we are thinking of not making her go through with this dance recital. The pain and torture I envision of her standing up on that stage crying is just too much. As aggravated as I get with her about it, she’s still my baby and I cannot bear to see her stand up there scared to death. Will she grow out of this? Am I making too much out of it?
I think I’m much more protective over little Mini-Me because from the time I was 10 weeks pregnant with her, the doctors kept finding things wrong with her. It was one thing after another until I was 8 months pregnant. I think I felt like so much was against her, that I had to fight for her from the very beginning, much more than my normal pregnancy with my oldest. Of course she came out absolutely perfect, but I already had the fight in me by then.
So now I’ve spent way too much time agonizing over her fear of being around new people and being the center of attention. I’m praying for wisdom and guidance to make the right decision, to be nurturing yet encouraging so that she can step out of her comfort zone and peace for my little love as she grows up and experiences new things.
Being a parent is tough…